I Stand Watching

It goes without a saying, once you step into the compounds ten feet within Malaysia's public transportation, you gotta hold on to whatever items that’s with you as if your life depended on it. Even though, in reality, all I had in my bagpack was a weeks worth of dirty laundry and lecture notes. My senses of precaution heighten a notch even without me being aware of it. But at times like this, having a sister around enabled me to catch forty winks on the LRT while she chats with her fellow classmates.

Being back in Subang is somewhat calming, for some reason I can't identify. Probably because from my bedroom, it only takes a flight of stairs down to the kitchen where I can find Mum caught up with a new recipe she’s testing to pour out my daily rants. She, whom does not judge, and yet, doesn’t really listen to what I have to say, but jumps at every opportunity to say, “I told you so”. And yet, I still love her and look forward to every weekend back home.

Mummy, just so you know, it rained this morning okay. Go ahead, tell me “I told you so”, after all, I deserved it.

The other night, I made a visit to 10th Teen Dhamma Camp’s Talent Night. Yes. Teen Dhamma Camp is now a decade old. Firstly, allow me to enlighten you on my fleeting history with this camp in particular. Mind you, it’s not like any ordinary camp you have heard or seen before this. I signed up for my first Teen Dhamma Camp together with a friend years back. It was the 6th one. If you did the math, I should be fourteen years of age, shy, naïve and ignorant.

And this is what I have become after four awesome years. Hahahaha!

Anyway, back then, I didn’t really catch what’s going on. It was a daze.

Everyone seemed to know each other even on the very first day of camp. Hugging random strangers seemed so normal to them. They were at ease with each others presence despite the different background we came from. Furthermore, the concealed bond between the sleep deprived committees was so strong, it amazed me. It puzzled me to no end at times. But it was then, I found the meaning of friendship. And yes, along the way, I found my best friend by pure coincidence and luck.

After attending merely one camp, I kept coming back the later years, but this time, to give a helping hand in the organizing committee.

Those precious moments I would never exchange it for the world. No matter how bleary eye and exhausted I was or how frustrated things weren’t going as I intended.

As I was saying, I visited 10th TDC because Tall Sister was attending her very own first TDC camp. *swells with pride for no reason* and sometime between the visit and witnessing fellow teens laugh at inside jokes and random cheers, for some unexplainable reason I felt this sadness expand within me. Within hours….it doubled up. And it blew a fuse.

I’ve been crying myself to sleep the past two nights and I freaking don’t know why. It’s as if by mistake, I burst a balloon filled with intoxicating cheerless-gas that sucks all happy thoughts from deep within me. If you witness me crying, you would have thought my nonexistent pet dog had passed away or something like that.

But it’s times like this, Crystal, the ultimate best friend never lets you down, even when she’s got exams the very next day :P In the weirdest of ways, she listens, makes remarks that will leave me pondering, later on, sends me into fits of laughter but most of all, she keeps me rooted to the ground.

After small chatting, I drifted off to sleep that night with renewed sense of optimism and energy. Boy, did I feel lighter after that :)

Whist being emo and all, I mistaken last Sunday for Father's Day and gave Dad his gift a week early.

OMG LA.

I bet you're laughing yourselves silly right now.