Eleanor Rigby:

The weekend is here. For all us free birds, it marks the beginning of the best 2 days of the week.
Not so in Tuaran though. All anybody has to look forward to in the World of Weishya is the fact that their handphones are returned.

And as such, Eleanor is pleased to report that Weishya has updated Eleanor to update all you readers and well wishers out there about her present situation.

For starters, PLKN camps in Tuaran have suddenly grown awfully stingy with fruits. Our sizzling shampoo showgirl feels that our taxpayers money is going to waste because she does not get second helpings of watermelon.

Vestiges of a spoilt life. We should all be thankful.

Wouldn't YOU want second helpings ?

Due to the constant monotony faced by NS trainees (especially those in Tuaran, Sabah), our beloved blogger has informed Eleanor that she has "forgotten" what common folk do on our weekends nowadays.

Eleanor felt that it was his/her duty to inform her that on weekends,

Men will
1) Watch football
2) Have sex
3) Have a slab of roasted meat

Note: All of the above activities are conducted IN THAT ORDER

Fantasy

Women will
1) Have sex
2) Do their nails
3) Roast pork/beef/ any form of meat for her male partner

Note: Above activities are conducted IN THAT ORDER

Reality

(To all you feminists out there : Take this as a joke, because there's no other way to take it)

Apparently such comforts are not present in Tuaran.

Eleanor breathes a sigh of relief though.

Shock was to hit Eleanor square in the face later though, as wank-worthy Weishya informed Eleanor that she might gain weight when she returns. (!!!!!!)

Now that IS a frightening thought.

She says she might fit a shirt that size soon

Another frightening thought to hit Eleanor is the information that due to the salty food, humid weather, and lack of haircare products, our homesick hottie might come back BALD. (!!!!)

Again,it is another reason to put a stop to this tyrannical policy of sending wank-worthy-women to murky jungles at their prime.

Looks like she might be raising less male meat staffs now. *droops*

But, on a lighter note, she has also informed Eleanor that her IQ is going "downhill the mountain kinabalu". ( note the terrible grammar, ironic no?)

She blames this on the fact that, on weekends, PLKN makes her watch cartoons called "budak lapuk".

It is "damn lame wan" ( Weishya, 2008) as it is "draggy for a cartoon" (Weishya, 2008).

They don't get THIS in Tuaran

Weishya also wishes Eleanor to inform all you well wishers out there that the deadline to vote is coming soon, and wishes that you all will vote to your utmost. Parents are visiting this Sunday, and she'll be extra sad if she isn't in the top 10. ( Her parents don't visit because Tuaran doesn't count as civilization)

Have a heart, people.

And finally, Tuaran practices drinking green pea soup for supper.

Don't you think she's suffered enough ?

Have a heart. That's disgusting

Eleanor, signing off

P.S.: Vote for this blog!!! Put her in the top 10!!!