N/A

It's wishful thinking but it'll really save my ass big time if it were to come true, please and thank you!
screen captured from the course's fb wall.

N/A

It sucks to know that the people who have hurt you will never realize the gravity of what they have done.

With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept

As if I have not emphasized enough what a shithead my course is. Hahaha. :(


Linked post.

Yearning

For a long time and maybe, just maybe, for too long, I've been sitting behind this desk. I deserve some ice cream!

Jaded Once More

Spending November mostly in isolation cos I had too much fun the month before. 

Now I'm wondering if I have over-isolated myself. 

Is there even such a thing as too much fun?

Sunday Afternoon

A post to commemorate a day with books and coffee. Life is good :)

N/A

“Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find ”tomorrow” on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday’s defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, ”If I had my life to live over again. ”Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!”

— Og Mandino

Have You Met...

my floormate?

She's spunky, she's a ball of energy, she introduced me to volleyball and she's the roommate I never had :)

Unanswered Questions

1. Where do dreams go to die?
2. Why pigs don't fly?
3. Can I have your donut?
4. Every hero has his kryptonite. Mine's the ability to overthink matters. And ACCA. What's yours?
5. Why be afraid of tomorrow when today is all we have?
6. Did I order liquid diabetes or Milo kurang manis?
7. Where is my (insert gadget) charger?
8. Will I ever get you, deferred taxes?
9. Distance, why are thou such a bitch?
10. Everyday without fail someone has to pour mop/Maggie water in front of my room, whyyy T_T
11. What to eat, what to eat?
12. Why do people watch American Idol when there's X-Factor?!!!
13. Tall sister, why you so tall?

21 Today

Nevertheless, life's about finding yourself, creating yourself, (managing the shit that comes flying your way, surprisingly frequent) & changing yourself to be better once you go wrong. So all in all, I'm doing a pretty damn good job at this aging thing :)

P/s: Happy Birthday Carmen <3

Must Watch

Or rather, MUST LISTEN.

N/A

There has always been something magical about ice cream and (curly) fries.

Caked

I'm just trying to take life
like a piece of cake.

One bite at the time.

Vicious Words and Why

RT @XSTROLOGY: #Scorpio has the most cruel tongue of the zodiac. If they don't like you, their words will leave you crying for momma.

Question #275

Remember these? We use to nibble on them back in the day before TimTams, macaroons and fraps were introduced into our gloriously expanding food dictionary.

I would always subconsciously pick out the yellow ones from the rest, followed by the whites and the pinkies for the last.

So anyway, my question for today is...do you eat the whole thing? Or do you bite off the colored icing first? Or the biscuit first and the save the icing for last?  :) 

Rain On My Parade

If the rain keeps up like this, I'll be cuddling up indoors this weekend with a book and some good ol' Milo.

October has officially arrived!

-

sometimes right, I feel as if there is no word that describes how I feel.
college makes me feel defeated, all the time.

thankful to be home. have a good weekend everyone!

Question #274

what do you look for in life?

Backdated: Fish Tales

My memories are getting shittier and the thing is.. a lot of exciting things happened but I can't remember. Particularly after how the last finals totally wiped out my brain (and happiness).

So I shall whip out my trusty notepad document and compile them for your viewing (laughing) pleasure cos really, how forgetful can a twenty year old individual be?

Will try to keep it chronologically from last last month or last month onwards..

• I've forgotten how to wake up for an 8am classes! Missed a BA tute and the man was not at all pleased I tell you.

• It is awfully shameless of me to divulge you with the only reason why i am still able to access my blog (and gmail) is because of this wonderful feature on my pc called the auto-save and cache mechanism that is delightfully available for use around the clock. This is a conceptual flaw when I access the Internet via other devices i.e. the college library pc.

Commemorating nine years of friendship one Sunday evening :)

• Skipped two weeks of hair conditioning. Actually, that incline towards selective memory rather than forgetfulness. I'm one of those few females that couldn't be bothered with hair conditioning -.-

Finally caught up with Pei Hao over lunch after what seems like forever (three years). 
He's picked up some very interesting driving skills yo :O

Dominos with Eden, JJ and Sha one hungry evening in July(?) :)

Connought night market one Wednesday evening! 
Dint buy excessive amounts of food though. So proud of myself la (Y)

Kevin took a break from work and was in KL, briefly. So the bunch of us, those who were still around anyway, met up for a movie in Mid Valley. I thought Green Lantern was so-so. The introduction took quite a chunk of the movie time. (by now you should realise it is all not chronological anymore)

This post is soo backdated that Kevin is (now) back in KL and resuming college -___-"

Purchased a pair of running shoes impulsively.

Had tons of fun in a three minute bumper car at a fair after Sha's seafood birthday dinner. Haha I'm backdating to June already!

Oh, I finally understand what all this rave is about Chatime!!! 
I swear their pearls are laced with drugs D:

I am furiously flipping back and forth to my calendar as I continue to type this post...

• Finally come around to trying canteen's Curry Mihun. I was feeling gutsy after a two hour nap. The abang mending the stall was laughing when I started sniffing into my 5th tissue wad.

• Saw a cat drinking from overleft bowl of soup noodles in canteen. Ew. Consequently vow to always pack my food or bring my own container from then on.

• Sold ice creams in college foyer for a week for a fundraiser! Ate so much ice creams I feared for my next menstrual cycle for days after that!

• Attended a Jap food review at Hokkaido Ramen which recently opened in Pavilion.

• Watch a part of Beastly..cos i had to study -.- finally watched a movie starring Mary-Kate Olsen who's character was quite disturbing. The idea of disfiguring physical appearance is rather....mmm. Won't bother watching the rest of it though. It's one of those movies with predictable endings.

Last meet up before the boy leaves for the US once again :(

Good ol' picnic by the lake one evening :) With mats and baskets brimming with food lagi :D

3CMs (Crystal, Carmen, C2, Moy, Maxon and Me who is really Guan)

• Missed super(wo)man's 50th birthday dinner. I'm such an ass of a daughter to choose classes over the woman who makes the best prawn sambal and otak-otak evaaaaa :3

Because my parents love (want to check on my well being) they packed the entire family into the car and made a trip up along with the above mention prawn sambal <3

It took me two and a half trips to the grocery store to remember 
that all I needed to buy was a toothbrush (I came back with a triple pack Kinder Bueno, 
Tim Tams and Singaporean noodles hoho!)

• Had a cooked out session with Sha.. but that was ages ago after she got back from the hospital? Okla can hardly call it cooking cos soup with mushroom chunks is a no brainer.

Spent a wee bit more time in the library than usual this exam period. I usually avoid it like a plague but I needed to be away from the bed due to very-good-weather-syndrome. 
Some days are good, some are spent wondering why am I not in bed but 
force myself among the mass of kiasu people. 

• I can never puasa even for a day cos I subconsciously stuff food into my face every twenty minutes when I study.

Ramadhan bazaar! Barely bought anything once again. 

Ayam perchik I regret not buying.

Grown up nail colour get you a lot of random compliments. 
But I feel like I'm playing dressed up sometimes.. and isn't 
it one of the prettiest colour?

All these pictures are such a good aid. And this is quicker and easier than I thought.

Nights Like This

I want to sleep but my mind is running like a wildfire.

I flip open my books, armed with highlighters but my brain refuses to give leeway to any knowledge i attempt to shove into the gray matter.

The room is spotless from last night's cleaning spree.

I wish to be home. Family a glance away. The idiotbox blaring. The alley cat stretching on my sofa seat. Sweltering weather. But I'm miles away and I know what needs to be done.

How frustrating.

Fear Struck

June 2011 ACCA Qualification pass rates
F6, Taxation, 51%
F7, Financial Reporting, 38%
F8, Audit and Assurance, 40%
F9, Financial Management, 38%
P1, Governance, Risk and Ethics, 52%
P2, Corporate Reporting, 50%
P3, Business Analysis, 47%
P4, Advanced Financial Management, 30%
P5, Advanced Performance Management, 35%
P6, Advanced Taxation, 45%
P7, Advanced Audit and Assurance, 31%



Right now, nothing says demotivation better than a bunch of stats above.
This immense fear of failing is gripping my heart so tight I can barely breathe.
What the balls have I got myself into??? T_____T

the week passed by too quickly.
i've got a panicked feeling,
a stronger hurt feeling,
a slight unsettling feeling
and an underlying blissful feeling.

No Sleep Tonight

Ive never been able to not fall asleep. I've also never thought I'd see the day I dedicate an entire post towards my all time past time activity :) haha! Now I'm about to throw another few minutes of my life out the window by talking about sleep. Or rather my inability to sleep.

Before three months ago came about, I never had problems when it comes to sleep.

Whenever, wherever. I've always been the master of falling asleep. Everyone knows that.

Sleep had always come easy for me. Rain or shine, exams or not. Once, I fell asleep on a visit to the zoo and another time, on my uncle's stairway while watching the idiotbox. Guess I'm never was cut out to be a TV person after all.

So, I was saying about sleep and it being the least of my problems. It saddens me deeply that, that no longer holds true.

My sleeping routine are so irregular that you can hardly call it a routine. I can't place my finger on a term to describe it in fact.

When life gets ugly, I sleep. But when I cant sleep, I get stressed. When I'm stressed and can't sleep I go on this crazy cleaning spree at wee hours of the morning. The next day, I'll be in zombiezilla mode and bite off everyone's heads.

This sucks!

Be warned

I kidnapped Tall Sister's chunky camera to campus for a few weeks. My first real-world experience with a SLR. There is still a LOT I have to learn, especially when using the manual settings (shutter speed, aperture, iso, whaat)! But for the most part, I'm still in love with how much detail there is in each picture, and it takes amazing macros! But just before I got the chance to brush up on my camera skills, I've to return this baby to it's very worried owner who text messages every three days to ask about it's well being and not mine. Thank you la, feeling very loved.

A post with a chockfull of pictures coming up!

Cross the As, Dot the Is.

It’s nerdtime AGAIN (geez, the times i have exams seems to happen a lot more than non-exam ones) at college. Albeit the lethargic feeling, I'm nostalgic all of a sudden. Weaving through my older blogposts from when I first started college makes me wish I was still in my first year, somewhat. Albeit being thrown into a hostile (cinafied) new environment back then, there was also lesser things to worry about. Like striving my butt off to not flunk exams.

It’s like high school when you think it’s the worst, then progressing on to tertiary education and it dawns upon you that life only gets harder. On the upside, I’m not kicking myself in the ass for not fully utilizing my experience in college.

Cos soon, it will be my turn to get all sappy about leaving college life and opening doors to the working world (which I am not looking forward to). Especially when you have parents AND friends who have already entered the workforce for more than two years telling you that your college life is the best, not to waste a single moment of it. Because you’ll never get that time back – being a student at this age, so to speak.

After that three month internship stint that ended in April, I don’t think I’m quite ready to venture out into the workforce just yet. Coming from someone who’s never had a proper job. Cooking Maggie for hungry hostel-mates doesn't exactly count. I have a few months shy of a year before I graduate and I’ll have to relearn how to write up a resume (did that for English during diploma), suck it up and grow up. Errr…yeah.

Advice

Kids,

If your parents tells you that Accounting is all about knowing your math and counting money like a boss, damn right they're wrong.

Excelling in modern maths does not guarantee you will ace in university, in fact, it bears no relevance when you reach your third year onwards.

If you insist on pursuing an education in this field, please read up on audit, tax, risk assessment, analyzing businesses, company ethics, corporate accounting, and finance management to get an idea of what you're getting yourself into. And by the way, don't be surprise when sometime during the course you encounter a couple of irrelevant pain in the ass subjects like statistics, HR and law.

Sincerely,
A final year finance student.

Fish Brains

is when it's been thirteen weeks into the semester and you still can't remember what time classes starts. Or end.

Looped

Simple Plan's Get Your Heart On! album
Fix Me by Matt Kurz
She Says by Howie Day
Turning Tables cover version by Glee
California King Bed cover version by Ahmir
Stitch By Stitch by Javier Colon
Cannonball by Damien Rice
Chant of Metta by Imee OoiKinD

A few songs from my current study playlist :)

Tragic

Very sad news. Jonathan, the teddy bear you see above, is currently bouncing like mad marble in the washing machine.

Slightly Nostalgic

Reading old conversations with you make me realize how much has changed. I miss you, or at least the person I knew.

Just get on with it!

Lectures are making me want to rip my brains out, freeze time and sleep the next one year of my life away.

I should be studying more.
I should try harder to keep to my resolutions.
I should stop wasting time.
I should stop taking naps in the evening.
I should make an effort to stay up beyond 12am
I should stop being lazy.
I should stop pointing out that i'm lazy and actually DO SOMETHING about it.

There are many things I should be doing. And I will soon. REALLY REALLY SOON.

Instead, I want something to munch on now. I should really not eat that much even with the amount of exercise I do. Which is about; zilch?It'ss not thatI'mm hungry but rather eating to stay awake.

So I eat.

Get fat or be stupid. Take a pick.

I believe that the very act of believing in something causes us to distance ourselves from that thing, thus a duality is created: oneself and the thing in which one believes. Now since we all know that in order to fully understand a thing one must be that thing - walk a mile in its shoes so to speak - it seems obvious that the state of believing in something inevitably causes us to not truly understand that thing in which we believe. This noncomprehension leads to all sorts of difficulties. "I believe in love" has a better than even chance of leading to divorce, while "I believe in God" seems to end in variations on the Spanish Inquisition. But -- and it's a big but -- if one were love, one couldn't help but be affectionate and caring towards oneself and others. If one were God, one would act toward all beings and all things as if they were one's own creations.

— Chuck Lorre

What doesn't kill us makes us bitter. I used to believe that to be both funny and true. Years later I learned that pain could also be the touchstone for personal growth, which of course points back to the original saying, "what doesn't kill us makes us better." Not funny, but perhaps closer to the truth. Or at least the truth I choose to believe in these days. So, having recently experienced a bit of pain, am I better?

Well, let's review: I think I'm fairly immune to name-calling now. I'm not sure I could have made that claim a few months ago. I've also come to see that the things I used to think were big deals, are not. Problems appear to be relative. If you have a big one, it makes all the others seem almost charming in comparison. And finally, when your life takes a path you could never have foreseen, it's humbling. In a good way. It's kind of like a friendly reminder from the universe that while you may think you have the starring role in the movie of your life, you're actually just a bit player trying to grab a quesadilla off the craft services table when no one's looking.

So, to sum up: I now have a thicker skin, I'm less likely to sweat the small stuff, and, perhaps most importantly, I have a renewed sense of humility. All in all, better. That being said, I still try to stay reasonably bitter in order to maintain my eligibility in the Writers Guild of America.

- Chuck Lorre

Physical Evidence

Over the years my ability to bullshit my way through exams are diminishing

Countin' Down The Months

"because, sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been. and remember the person you were meant to be. the person you wanted to be. the person you are"

One Tree Hill 2x22

I Will Run

Dear world wide web, I tell you this because I want to be held accountable for the words that fall out of my mouth. 

I’m going to start some form of exercise regime which i haven't given much thought about. But i will, soon :)

A Fact About Time

is that it doesn't wait for anyone. Or slows down in a crisis. It's all in the head. And how you manage it.

Where has June gone?

Oh wait, i know. Countless nights was spent with my books, hunting down my eraser, keeping up with classes, and recalling when's the last meal i ate. So there you go, June in a nutshell.

Reviving the Dead Space

French braiding my own hair is usually disastrous. My arms start to ache, I lose patience fast and not to mention, I'm lousy at it.

So I usually enjoy it whenever someone plays with my hair. Tonight TallSis brought the Fishtail braid into my world. So much more elaborated and time consuming too. Not the easiest hair style for someone as cincai as me, I'm afraid. But oh so gorgeous!

I really wish I was more creative/adventurous with my hair. It's barely possible cos it takes too much time(that i don't have) and I'm constantly losing hair bands and I can't pull of the 'effortlessly chic' look. 

I just can't. 

I have an undeniable mess of fine black hair unless I celup my head with ten layers of hair wax, baby hair springs out every corner imaginable. Why baby hair? Cos i drop 2494 strands of hair perwash, that's why. 

Anyways, here's a picture to cheer things up a lil :)

Ode to ACCA

I'm falling into a hole 
A hole so black, so deep and so endless 
I know where I hope the hole will take me; towards light 
But I can't be sure 
It doesn't matter, because we all have to go through darkness to find the light

Friday

Its good to know that the weekend is coming. 
Break from the weekday work routine. 
:)

I Notice Right

As the numbers on my age increase, exposure reduces and privacy is given importance once again.

Unavoidable

heading back to campus tonight.
i shall not cry. i will not cry. i must not cry. 

Just thought you might want to know, or might have forgotten.

I avoid conflict. I have an avoidant personality in general.

**

I hate watching horror. Can't understand why people would pay to scare themselves silly.

**

I don't own a watch. And yet, I'm hardly ever late.

**

Some may think I'm nosy, but, honestly, I'm just a curious person.

(Okay, maybe I am a little nosy. It depends on the topic of discussion)

**

I blame everything on PMS; mood swings, 8am classes, and dropping soap dishes into toilet bowls.

**

I like how "falafel" sounds on my tongue. Which by the way is a fancy way of calling a kebab. 

**

I use to believe that love triumphs over everything.

I would still like to believe this... Nevertheless, I'm starting to lose faith in love altogether which is especially unsettling for me because I used to believe so strongly in it. 

I've been given so many reasons to come to that conclusion. I've become so hardened by cynicism and that my belief that 

relationships never equal happiness and that there's no such thing as love.

Alas, after taking time off and some soul searching, I've figured it out!

The key to happiness lies in just living in your own world.

**


This May marks the end of three years since I started college. 

Three years of dorm life. 

Three years of communal toilets. 
Three years of bitter sweet salty memories.

Three years I can never get back.

Final year, please be kind to me. Thank you.

**

I've been told the intake for my course this year is close to a thousand people. I'm starting to worry if there'll be a demand in my line of profession in time to come.

**

I make terrible first impressions. Think about it ;)

**

Working in during lunch hours is not such big of a deal. Nor does it mean you're more hardworking than the rest.

**

It usually takes me awhile to warm up to someone. 

**

It's my life's goal to never drink/smoke. But that contradicts with my other life's goal to try new things so I still can't decide if I am disappointed in myself. 

BUT I've reached a verdict: it's rather immature (and ignorant) to condemn something you've never tried. There are exceptions, of course, as life is short! So why not experience as much as you can? But to be honest, I still don't understand all the hype about getting drunk.

**

You will not find a single song from Taylor Swift in my playlist. I have a couple of songs from Justin Bieber though.

**

I am generally a shy person. It's true!

Usually, I don't talk much.

But every once in a while, I ramble.

**

I can never keep my nails too long without scarring myself. In the face. So in addition to the vein in my cheeks I have red claw marks too.

**

Lust at first sight yes, love no.

I'm too practical for love at first sight.

**

I HATE TAKING OUT THE TRASH FULL OR CLEARING A CLOGGED SINK

**

The weighing scale at home is broken for five years now. At sixteen years old I stood at 45kgs. Now, on the brink of turning 21, I still can't get past the 45kgs point no matter how much I eat. The pointer is faulty.

**

I've never been able to not fall asleep. Ask anyone.

**

Working Woes

As bored as I might have been at work, I'm starting to miss it and the people there. They are really nice, and makes work-life feels so much better, because unlike some people I've encountered, they sincerely want to help you out :)

I digress, after listening to horrific encounters my course mates raved and ranted over the three month period, my colleagues are saints. Cina speaking speaking saints no less. I've probably asked seven thousand no brainer questions all which they answer me patiently and with much clarity. That's the beauty of working with a small firm I guess :)

My first month was filled with nothing. Sounds ironic when I type it out innit. Once, I spent a whole day reviewing past files and that stretched on for days at a time. It was hell trying to stay awake with nothing exactly to do. Later weeks, the company secretary (from a different firm, by the way) decided we interns have had too much time in hand and started loading me  with mortgage loan agreements and twenty other foreign paperwork to be typed out. 


In March, work started to trickle in. The learning process was a frustrating one and even more when I make mistakes faster than i can say hippopotamus. While my seniors could accomplish a task within an impossible timespan, I completed the same task with three times fold the duration. Omb damn stress okay.

In the later months, I got to venture out to client companies which prior to that, got me all jumpy and excited. The glossy gleam in my eyes died instantly after I found out I was doing the exact same thing I do at my work desk only in a different office and a smoker junkie for a boss in place. 


Come the time I was leaving, the work load was crazy hectic. On my last day, I was on the phone bantering with a client until the very last of minutes. One company came by with 14 boxes of raw documents to process and sieve thru. I shudder to imagine the hours clocked in for that one engagement. All in all, I leave a lil bit wiser, slightly rounder and with a whole lot more appreciation for college. 

Teruskan usaha ex-teman seperjuangan =)

Lazy Days Shortlived

People always say, “sorry for not blogging” and on days I feel like reviving this dead weight space of mine, I normally would. Judging from the last three months or so, I’m fairly certain you can get through your day without reading my blog! nevertheless, I always try and remind myself to blog about something of more substance. But just like every other day, it just never happens. Because I am just that lazy and good at procrastinating.

Today I finally manage to sit down infront of a laptop and actually 'feel' like blogging. But guess what? I have nothing to blog about. I feel as if i'm at a bottleneck, where there are too many things happening at one go, nothing much can come out.


On the side note, I've had the pleasure of snoozing my alarm clock for hours at a time just because I can. I've also developed the habit of waking up for breakfast and catching another nap in between some chores and lunch. 

Alas, college resumes this coming Monday. All good things must come to an end, no matter how short lived it was to begin with.

Right now, i'm looking for some inspiration to start packing and like always, it just won't come.

Sixteen

24 March 2011

Unfortunately for you , I was never good at being a nice older sister but I'm sure after sixteen years, you're warming up to the idea of having me around for another 84yrs. 

Happy Belated Birthday Tall Sister <3

The Lost Generation

Jonathan Reed is a 20-something native of Atlanta and a student at Columbia College in Chicago, and he wrote the palindrome below about himself and his peers, entitled the Lost Generation. 

I am part of a lost generation.

And I refuse to believe that

I can change the world.

I realize this may be a shock, but

"Happiness comes from within"

Is a lie, and

"Money will make me happy"

So in thirty years, I will tell my children

They are not the most important thing in my life.

My employer will know that

I have my priorities straight because

Work

Is more important than

Family

I tell you this:

Once upon a time

Families stayed together

But this will not be true in my era.

This is a quick fix society

Experts tell me

Thirty years from now, I will be celebrating the tenth anniversary of my divorce.

I do not concede that

I will live in a country of my own making.

In the future,

Environmental destruction will be the norm.

No longer can it be said that

My peers and I care about this Earth.

It will be evident that

My generation is apathetic and lethargic.

It is foolish to presume that

There is hope.

And all of this will come true unless we reverse it.

As depressing as it is when you read it as written, it is just as uplifting in reverse. To reverse it, read line by line from the bottom up.

Brilliant, yes?

It's Raining Out There

The end of april is fast approaching

I hope you are well

And you take some time off
To do something that make you
Smile and happy everyday
I have to remind myself of that too...

Good For Nuthin' Saturdays

Been awake for four hours now. 

It's time for a nap :)

P/s: I miss my room in Stapak. Best sleeping conditions ever encountered!

These are strange times we’re living in.

The other day I was feeling slightly under the weather, the world seemed bleak and the fact that each week encompasses of at least one Monday didn't help very much. But I took a good hard look around me and realise that there is still much to be appreciative about. 

I might be speaking too soon (after all, we are only a quarter into the year) but 2011 has been a nightmare of a year. A series of unfortunate events is hard to be oblivious to and what more a missing chunk of Japan.


Yesterday itself, I read about two unrelated deaths on my Facebook feed. 


Sigh.


Then again, we see what we want to see.

Don't know if you've notice the astonishing increase in suicide attempts that has made it to the headlines early this year and suddenly, as sudden as it made its way to the media, disappeared altogether. Also in January was floods in Queensland and Brazil.

In February, not only did one too many pigs were sacrificed in the roaster for celebrations and merry festivities but an earthquake rumbled through Christchurch and killed 113 people. And there was that insanely exaggerated protest in Cairo, Egypt to bring down Mubarak.

Twin disasters hit north east coast in Japan almost three weeks ago. And to make matters worst, I'm sure there are still a numerous of unaccounted deaths waiting to be uncovered.

Natural disasters and unfortunate accidents have lethal powers once unleashed will result in broken bones, broken homes, broken hearts and broken souls. With that in mind, what else is there in store for us, 2011?