A Week Behind

14 May 2010

Returning from the land below the wind, not only left me with mixed feelings of imperishable freight of happiness interlaced with sadness of never having to meet certain individuals (nevnev & edenden!) for a very very long time but I was also swept off my feet with the reality of that college is resuming in a matter of days set in slowly, unseeingly but definite.

It started out with the recent release of results from the last semester, new timetables for the coming semester, facebook debacles on the orientation/no orientation issue, and finally what I think makes it all set into stone was the graduate’s list and notice on convocation that affirm things and made the sky seem bluer than before. Want to close my eyes and pretend this is not happening also cannot -__-“

I miss hostel to some extent albeit the many downsides of it because it brings out the best in me. By best I mean the hardworking side of me who’s always on the go and not the current me who slacks and just wants to sleep all day. Argh so unproductive!

Weird as it already sounds in my head and it is exceptionally uncanny of me to be telling you that; actually, I’m looking forward to going back to college again. I’m somewhat optimistic about my next two years of college life because after last semester, I’m pretty determined to start afresh and anew again. No more antisocial Shya who sits in the room studying from evening to dawn!

I have never been able to sit still (people who know me can attest to that) and my need to be on top and ahead of everything wears me out. But I can’t stop lol. 

But then hor...

Aha yes, there’s always a counteract to any good feelings I have, it’s like a term and condition clause clouding over me never allowing me to dodge from. Very ‘suey’ like that. This is why I am the skeptic that I am today. Truth is, I am terrified. I guess I always am when the future is concern. The mere thought of waking up every morning with the familiar zombie/sleep deprived/overworked washing machine feeling and the non-existent that will shadow upon the two years isn’t a very comforting thought lah. 

Moral of the story; don’t aspire to be a smart student if you want a life. Some people can do the party-all-night, dota-all-night, spend-all-night-drinking-teh ais at-mamak thingy and still produce strings of As but I just CANNOT *narrow eyes at brain cells* 


And I simply do not possess the skill to pull off the whole i’m-an-accounting-student-and-I-still-have-a-life-because-i’m-smart-like-that show. Not that I’m publicly announcing my lack of brain here because I wouldn’t want to jinx myself by failing the next finals paper loh becos it will suck ostrich balls if I do.