Keep Moving Forward (Eat or be Eaten)

The decision to go overseas is not something which can be taken lightly. I know this because I am already living somewhere I do not call home, and it has changed my life, the way I see myself and almost destroyed me at times. Yet, thanks to the people around me, I know it is not life which truely breaks me, but myself. I am the one who has let my thoughts devour me, the one who hid, the one who shied away when opportunities came knocking, the one who allowed negativity to claw its way through my door.

Just last week I was literally shoved off the edge to find myself standing at the tip of a balancing pole (52638 feet high) where I have to choose between staying on in Cinallege and *inserts foreign country. I can imagine you out there virtually yelling in my ear, with built in amplifiers, in support of the latter. Of course a foreign education would win hands down but if only you would just listen to my concerns before nudging me towards one direction of the shaft I so uncertainly lull upon.

But alas, a choice has to be made. And, I am staying.

Times like this seem hard. When you make a decision to stay, and everyone else leaves, visions of a possible future flash by your eyes, and just as quickly disappear, with no sign or mark of its passing but the slight wind that ruffles through your hair. This niggling feeling that the world is moving on to greater heights, heights I am able and have always wanted to achieve, and leaving me behind, just won’t go away. I know this is a topic which has been discussed and advised on almost to death. But hey, we're all human. Doubts and distress are a part of life, and without them, what would there be to make movies about? Despite the feeling of regret, I know in my heart that I am strong enough to overcome these petty emotions, which I am brave enough to see my decision through and remain where I am.



Note to self: choosing to remain is not the same as choosing to come to a standstill in life. (insert smiley face)