What Do I Really Want?

Normalcity is finally settling down, and so is lifelessness.

I tend to do the same things at the same time, every day. For example: waking up at that precise time, morning calls, getting hungry, using the bathroom, getting annoyed, guilt trips for not studying enough.

Arghghgh.

You Made It Happen

And so, it's been a whole month since I've stepped into eighteenhood. Until this moment, dare I say, it’s been fun; considering the privileges that came along with the big one eight. I’ve been enjoying it, making my way into 18sx movies without a glitch , getting a RED bank card of my own and such. But until recently, I hadn’t realize that there was a trade off, that I might not get away with what mindlessly innocent excuses or fit into places where I’d been comfortable.

And you would agree with me that we learn and experience new things everyday, no? Ah well, today I found out my blood type! Yes yes.. in addition to not knowing what my chinese name means, unable to use a chopstick and differentiate one dialect from another and sit in a massage chair without revealing my jakuness, I also dont know my blood type. But I finally know it! Because Chris and I were suppose to meet up and study for next week’s tests but he wanted to head over to college hall for the blood donation event going on, I jumped at the chance. I’ve always always wanted to give away my blood for a good cause. But my fear for doctors and needles are too….overpowering.

The thought of it just paralyzes me fear. Having a chopstick thick needle sticking down my arm I mean, not the blood part.

And so, I’ve always come up with a string of reasons not to donate. Not that it wasn’t true, because I was underage and I was outside the healthy weight range, until recently that is. Failing driving more than once has sent me into the deepest ends of depression has ever seen. And thus, my appetite has been massively growing. That’s why I hate it so much when I get depressed over a matter and tend to be unaware of how much I eat.

Eh, wait. I'm sidetracking again.

The entire process from filling in forms asking funny, nitty gritty questions on my health history to moment of walking out the hall a certified donor took nearly two hours. I amazingly managed to extend the whole process with my super abilities of noobness, don't ask :)

After the paperwork was done and dealed with, we had to wait to have our blood type identified by having our finger pricked. That was no ant bite okay Chris, you big bluffer. And and…there was some complications going on when identifying my blood type and pea brain Botak behind me had to wonder aloud if I was an alien. Eh can don’t say thing like a moment like this ah. I almost believed in it okay. Anyhow, matters got resolved after several more tests. Chris’s an O-type and I’m an AB. So contrast lah the both of us, I can receive blood from all blood types while he can donate to all blood types but only receive from the same blood type.

After having our blood pressure and collecting the ‘goodie bag’ containing test tube, sticky labels, a brilliant red booklet where each time I donate it'll be recorded in it, evil needle and the blood bag of course, we were strapped to the chair by the arm.

I asked nearly everyone I knew in that hall if it was gonna hurt, and I could swear they secretly ganged up to come up with the common idea that it wouldn’t hurt a slightest bit. I believe people way too easily. Because it DID hurt, very painful pulak tu.

The process of having the needle shoved into the right vein is NOT a quick and painless. Particularly when there’s a problem detecting a vein and the nurse starts telling you that nothing is wrong and that you’re a special case. -___-

It reminded me of the moment’s time I had to extract bermany-many tooth for braces. Dad always always accompanied without fail despite me clawing him while the dentist does her thing, yanking out my tooth. I was so nervous and kept bugging Chris with what if questions. What if I pengsan halfway through donating? What if my blood stop flowing halfway? What if my blood got rejected? What if the nurse poked some artery instead of the supposed vein? What if the hall caught fire and I can’t run because of the stupid needle strapping me down to the chair? What if I took much longer time, would you leave? It could have happen right?

When I'm, nervous, I blab. Sorry :S

For the few subsequent minutes that seemed like hours, after the study mate had his fill of laughing his head out on me, the 350ml bag filled up with red liquid and the needle was removed. I could literally hear angels singing. Gawd.

I walked out dengan bangganya, a certified donor. HAHAHA. Saw that a not people. I can be an air head because I just can :D

Then after, I wasn't faint or dizzy, or passing out. Instead, I has this warm fuzzy feeling inside as the nurse packaged my blood up and bandaged my arm. Donating blood was the best feeling in the world, as I knew it would go to someone who really needed it.

Did you know, one pint of blood, which is what I donated, has the potential to save up to three people's lives, and most blood drives are for local people in need. With some something like that as an incentive, why not give?

Signing Off, A Half Coward but Proud Blood Donor.
P/s: I am still awaiting the day you and I give away our organs best friend ;)

Tell Me It Isn't True

It’s one thing when a rumour is just a rumour.

Even if it buzzes and stings, no permanent damage is done.

But there’s a world difference when the rumour is true.

It changes things altogether.

White Flag

I went for my driving test again. And guess what?


I FAILED AGAIN!


This is the THIRD time I’m retaking the test and I have to fail it because of my bengongness. I highly doubt I’m ever gonna get close to obtaining my drivers license because I am so so sick of failing.

Sibeh tulan.











































Hahaha. I bet you didn’t fall for that. Did you, did you? Everyone tells me I’m such a bad liar I donno why I even bother sometimes.

But that’s not the issue to fret over now. The point is…. I PASSED.

I DID IT.

Can you believe it, I passed! OMG. I really did. *skipjumphopfly*
Despite the well wishes I’ve gotten from so many people, yeah I know… now everybody knows that I’ve failed twice, I AM still very much traumatised by my failure. I can never handle the failure department very well except for Biology, but of course, cos I’m immune to feeling all of devastation when I fail that subject. Heh.

I was well; scared, frightened, panicky and whatnot. My heartbeat sounded like a monotonous buzz, that was how fast it was pumping okay. Die or not I ask you?

I was thinking that in just case I fail the bukit/parallel parking again this time around (again), I’m not going to take the test anymore, and this time, for real. But before that, I will not get out of the car when the officer asks me to, and in deep rage and frustration, bang all the kancils around and later on the JPJ officers.

All the while I was chanting feverishly in my head that I not make yet another brilliantly grand mistake because that is what I do best despite my best of efforts not to. But I guessed, it worked :D

When I finally made it back to the start of the circuit, I was smiling so brightly my 156349 watts smile was more hazardous than a radioactive plant with laser beams all around.
:)

Here I Go Again

I’m retaking driving again.
Yes yes, I’m not giving up just yet okay.
People say I might get lucky the third time around.
So yeah.. If I don't pass, I'm gonna drop a lighted match on the head on whoever that told me that cos I'm pinning all my hopes on it.