"Blah" is probably the most eloquent summary of this blogpost

I am such an unassertive people-pleaser, and I hate it. It's what keeps me from really expressing myself here - I think I have quite a lot to say, but my enthusiasm is dampened by the idea of having to ponder, apologize for and defend everything I say, or eventually landing myself in awkward situations. And oh, I suspect my parents read my blog, not that I have anything against that but it cramps my style. I do have interesting, impersonal things to talk about as well, but I keep telling myself that I'll start a new blog, do it up properly, and then bother with actually insightful entries, instead of silly brief ones. Like this, for example.

I haven't been doing much lately. I have been terribly inert. I get back after classes and feel like I absolutely don't want to move, despite doing pretty much nothing at college. Tonight I passed up invitations to the school prom so I could stay in my room instead and brood. Until Pei Jing called and made me have dinner with her and boyfriend, which I obliged. Ah yes, I only get out these days to go in search for dinner.

I’ve been trying to eat more healthily but after a few days of it I ruin any progress made because I'm not disciplined enough to stick to a healthy diet (:

I suspect my lack of motivation has something to do with my subjects and the mundane environment. Under the current circumstances, I am simply not in a position to be actually productive, which results in being tasked with the pesky little things that everyone else avoids.

Anyway, I don't know who reads this blog anymore, but at some point in the near future I'm going to ditch this blog and write elsewhere. If you're interested in an update on the new link, leave a message with your email (and name, preferably). If I do get around to actually doing it, that is.